Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Puss in Boots

The real Puss in Boots doesn't buckle the swashes like the storybook version.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

GUNSHIP: FIRST STRIKE... a quick and dirty review.

I got GUNSHIP: FIRST STRIKE for my birthday, and it's loads of starship battling fun that's easy on your pocket book. In this game, you are the commander of a starship carrier group that has just joined battle with an enemy carrier group. You trade fire with up to 3 other opponents' carrier groups using cards, dice, and ship boards. The object is to destroy your opponents' "Assault Carriers" before they destroy yours.

While the mechanics and cards are simple enough that i was able to easily teach my 6 and 7 year old sons how to play, there are enough subtle strategic nuances, action sequences, and suspenseful moments to make it a romp for adults. As  parts started blowing off of everyone's gunships, my 6 and 7 year olds weren't the only ones acting like they had ants in their pants. Gunship is a game where, with a little luck, it's possible to lose every battle but still win the war if you exploit the right opening at the right moment. This was evidenced during a 2-on-2 when little Mikey ultimately sacrificed his Gunship (the "Hero" unit in this game) to make a glorious kitchen sink attack of "thruster bombs" and torpedoes on our Assault Carrier that so badly damaged it, that it was dead in 2 turns.

There rules are modular enough that there are rules variants, including campaign play, as described on the game's site,  and still more variants you can make up yourself. After only playing the game twice, I was able to create a 2-on-1 variant that was extremely fun.

Reviewer's advice: this game is a must buy for sci-fi fans and gamers, young and old, that have a fetish for ship-to-ship combat.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

A new adage...

Never put off 'til tomorrow what you can con someone else into doing today.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Sarcoid Wars: Battle of the Brawn, Day 1

The Sarcoid came out of remission, making a night raid on the Allies' front line at the ruin of Lungston. Simultaneously, The Sarcoid  launched a brutal surprise blitzkrieg on Heartland, gaining a foothold halfway though the Muscle Escarpment and inflicting substantial damage on the region. Gains made by the Allies on Spleen Beach and Liver Ridge were lost, on what was thought before the 'Krieg to be strategically unimportant ground.

This is day 1 of the Allies' counterattack.

The Allies launched their offensive after enlisting the aid of the fabled Prednisonian Guard. The Sarcoid sent in their allies, the infamous Diabetesian Mercenaries to meet them. Even though the allies took nearly zero carbs and sugar, the battle wasn't going well. The Blood Glucose Line shot up the Escarpment to 6.8 anyway. There were also troubling reports that the capricious and opportunistic Lupus Empire may be making a pact with The Sarcoid, and joining battle against the allies.

The Allies set out from the smoking ruin of Lungston, and marched/charged for a kilometer to hit the Diabetesians in their flank... the Lungston standard flying. Before the Allies were even able to meet the Diabetesians in battle, The Sarcoid's mines and artillery pounded them all along Muscle Escarpment; shrapnel slashing along the embattled Allied ranks. Meanwhile, the enemy stabbed at the beleaguered resistance in Heartland, but the Allies made it to the Diebetesian flank.

The Lungston standard was shredded, rattling in the wind. The allies were still hurting and exhausted, but with a defiant "Fuck you!", they lifted the weight of their packs and began to fight the Diabetesians. Their strength, much diminished by The Sarcoid's initial blitz, wasn't able to hold out for as long as they could have, once upon a time. They were forced to fall back to a defensive position, lest the battle cost so much that they wouldn't be able to hold their ground tomorrow.

The troops felt surprisingly good after the battle, and couldn't wait for the intelligence reports to come in. When the reports finally came in, they showed that at the end of this first engagement, the Diabetesians' Blood Glucose Line was now...



Monday, July 15, 2013

Crop Dusting the Apple Store

My advice to a friend's wife on how to effectively crop dust the Apple store:

"You just didn't leave fast enough. I crop dust the Apple store regularly. Try to let it out a little at a time so you leave an evenly distributed stink ribbon in a continuous path until you leave the store. That way nobody gets left out, and there's a much higher chance of an innocent getting blamed."

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

CHEEEEEEEEESE!!!!! (Part Deux)