Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Craptastic Tuesday

I got one of those Facebook things from a friend asking me to put two things together to make my  superhero name. This is what came of it:

"Because of events this past Tuesday, I think I may already know what my superpower is. I was pooping like, every 10 to 20 minutes for 23 hours, and I don't think a normal human can do that without serious permanent damage.

Technically, you can't really call it poop, per se. Brimstone it's more the word, if in fact brimstone enters this world through a portal in my rectum leading straight to hell. Judging by the sulfurous stank and the scorch marks on the toilet and my poor, tortured sphincter... I'm pretty sure it does.

The dudes from Supernatural even showed up to sprinkle my smoking star with salt, and practice their mantra to exorcise the demons. At least I think it was them, and not some random salt sprinkling pervy types. They were mostly behind me, so I can't really say for sure what was going on. I'm better now though, so... Whatever works I guess.

It was not an ideal Tuesday."