Wednesday, November 25, 2009

My Winter, As I Sit Here

Exhausted Fall, it's work complete, puts down it's scythe with blistered hands and lies down to rest. Slumbering Winter wakes and tucks Fall in with a pristine white blanket, its tiny diamonds waiting to sparkle in the morning light.

It's been a tough year.

Normally I dread the biting cold of winter in the Canadian prairies, but this year winter signals the end of one of the worst years of my life, and the beginning of a new year that's already beginning to show a lot of promise.

As I sit here at my keyboard, I reflect on 2009 with teary eyes in remembrance of loved ones lost, an awesome job outsourced, and the six months I spent not knowing if I was going to live or die. I think on the people who I'd believed were friends who laughingly kicked me while I was down, and on a troubled young man whose trials are only just beginning. I think on my practical and moral failures and mistakes, and not just those I made over the course of this year.

As I sit here, I take a deep breath in a moment of catharsis, and I am renewed.

I think on my wife and how wonderful and supportive she's been through these troubled times, never wavering. I think on my beautiful children who love me more than I've ever been loved. I think on my achievements, no matter how trivial some may think them. I still cry as I type, but these are new tears now.

As my tears stop I dry my eyes and think of the future. I think of my new well-paying job working alongside old friends. I think of games published, and the fun of the upcoming convention circuit. I think of new things to write, cool games I want to play, and people I want to meet. Most of all, I think of who I was, who I am, and the better person I want to be.

The year two thousand and ten is MY year.